Postman Pat

[Angry Dan]

It was Postman Pats last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the
mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the
whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on
his way with a cheque for £50.

At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.

The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch
whisky.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her
lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the
bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had
ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full
English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed
orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he
noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup.
'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the
five quid for?'
'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today
would be your last day and that we should do something special for you'.
'I asked him what I should give you'.
He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a fiver.'
She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'
__________________

[Narcissus]

Ha ha brilliant